Dear Verity:
One of my favorite expressions from our children’s preschool teacher was, “don’t make your mom (or dad) do your work for you.” I feel like we should find ways for everyone to contribute to the household management. Yes, it is drudgery sometimes, but it has to be done. If everyone is invested in maintaining the home, then the family is all part of the team. Conversely, if one person shoulders all of the responsibility, it isn’t right—and kids have a keen sense of fairness. It is harder at first, because they do need help to learn how to do the tasks. But they and you are rewarded by satisfaction in a job well done.
We’ve tried to play into what they enjoy doing in addition to needs to be done. Gadgets like the steam mop seem popular with one child and another particularly loves yard work. I too hate to remind or “nag,” so when the kids were in elementary school I had a chore chart and suggested that if they made their beds and tidied their rooms and play areas without reminders for two weeks without prompting, they’d earn a reward. I once tried this in a punitive fashion with a token fine for unmade beds, but my younger son merely saw this as paying me for housework. (I am not his maid.) Some tasks are a matter of building habits. For example, when they finish a meal, they plop their dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink. Other chores are weekly. We’ll do a weekend morning of chores to catch up on all the tasks that build up. We work together on some things and divide up other tasks. When we’re done the evening is free for relaxing. Now that the kids are a few years from college, I want to make sure they can handle a washing machine and cook a few simple meals.
Good luck to you!
We’ve tried to play into what they enjoy doing in addition to needs to be done. Gadgets like the steam mop seem popular with one child and another particularly loves yard work. I too hate to remind or “nag,” so when the kids were in elementary school I had a chore chart and suggested that if they made their beds and tidied their rooms and play areas without reminders for two weeks without prompting, they’d earn a reward. I once tried this in a punitive fashion with a token fine for unmade beds, but my younger son merely saw this as paying me for housework. (I am not his maid.) Some tasks are a matter of building habits. For example, when they finish a meal, they plop their dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink. Other chores are weekly. We’ll do a weekend morning of chores to catch up on all the tasks that build up. We work together on some things and divide up other tasks. When we’re done the evening is free for relaxing. Now that the kids are a few years from college, I want to make sure they can handle a washing machine and cook a few simple meals.
Good luck to you!
Rekha
Dear Verity:
Agreed on all fronts, and I’ll add what seems, so far, to work really well with my four- and six-year-olds: I turn them into superheroes.
I set the timer on the microwave oven and let them know that they have X number of minutes to complete their mission (the chore in question). Then—and I’m so incredibly grateful this has never been captured on a digital or other recording device—I sing the theme song to “SuperWhy,” altering the lyrics to suit whatever it is the kids are doing. For example, “Who’s got the power, the power to clean? The power to pick up all of their toys? SuperWhy? Super Cleaners! You’re both so good at cleaning, SuperWhy!”
Okay, now that I’ve typed that out I feel utterly ridiculous, but it works. They smile and giggle (I really ham it up when I’m singing) and are distracted from the fact that they’re doing something I told them to do. It’s worked when they hem and haw about getting into the bathtub or standing still for teeth flossing, too (though I don’t use a timer in those situations).
As for specific household chores—my kids have asked to help me with dusting, using the hand vacuum, folding their laundry... They don’t do things as exactly as I do them, but then, who does — or could? (I’m a maniac.) They are really good at putting piles of folded laundry in the right room or drawer, set the table, take their dishes from table to counter... Things like that. I tend to give them chores that are in line with the kind of “work” or responsibilities they have in preschool or Kindergarten.
Here’s to SuperChores!
Renu
No comments:
Post a Comment