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Sunday, June 12, 2011

Play as hard as you work

Dear Calm and Sense:

I can’t stop thinking about work. I try to come home, relax, spend time with my family, enjoy golf or yoga, but try as I might, work creeps back in: I end up golfing less, missing yoga class, and being distracted when I’m home. Sometimes I dream about it, or wake up thinking about it. It irritates me, but I just can’t seem to stop. What can I do? -- Seeking Balance

Dear Seeking Balance:

It’s not enough, as you know, to try not to think about work. You have to get your body involved, too. Bear with me here.

Your question reminds me of a physical therapy exercise I recently had to do after a knee injury: you stand on a balance board (a tiny see-saw), feet shoulder-width apart and balance yourself on the board. The first few times I did it, I’d get extremely frustrated when the board tipped to one side. But the exercise was about maintaining reasonable balance over time, not achieving perfect balance forever. Wobbling was inevitable, balancing required continuous effort.

If you’re trying to balance work and life, it’s going to require continuous effort.

Make the effort, and execute. Attend that yoga class religiously. Pay for classes up front; you might be less likely to miss them. Join a golf league where other players depend on your participation. Ask your family to hide your laptop and phone from you when you get home. There’s a good chance that the more non-work things you do, the less you’ll think about work.

It’s worth a try, right?
Renu

Dear Seeking Balance:

I love Renu’s approach on this. It is completely natural to find yourself off balance from time to time. But as someone who practice yoga, you are aware that striving for a centered life is more rewarding. Adding accountability to personal and family time are great ideas to help you reach those goals.


Try to reframe the “down time” as recharging time for your job if that is more comfortable. Evenings, weekends, and vacations that are truly free from office distractions allow your brain to become more creative and engaged when you are at work. You are then a more productive and valuable employee, and it sets a great example for all of those around you.

Good luck!
Rekha

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